Naughty talk vs being rude

This article was originally published on and is reprinted here with their permission. Most of us will have watched our fair share of naughty movies, and there is nothing wrong with that! In fact there are so many sites where we can watch that sex scene for a quick porn fix that we don’t even have to go through a full movie… but let’s not digress here. The one thing that often strikes us is how the participants talk to each other, with the man often calling the lady a certain amount of names that can be seen as more or less negative. So it begs us to wonder: do we need to talk like that during sex; does name calling and dirty talk actually make for a hotter and better time; or are those participants in porn scenes just being plain rude? Dirty talk is okay, really! Sex is something that is generally quite primal, it’s an animalistic thing that we feel compelled to do. This almost sounds like the opposite of ‘love-making’; where the sex is oriented towards feelings and tenderness; but the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. There is nothing wrong with making the situation more exciting by heating things up, turning it up a notch. Dirty talking, saying you want to do this and you’re going to do that is a great way to set up expectations; it gives your partner a good idea of the ride that is to come. It can’t be all: ‘I love you’; that only brings you so far. So go ahead, ask your partner if they like it, and how much more they want; you will be amazed at how lively everything gets. Talking works wonders for the imagination; and we all know our orgasms can sometimes rely on the things we have in our heads. What about name calling? Well, to be honest that really depends on the person. Some of us actually enjoy being called a ‘slut’ or a ‘dirty old man’; but before you go out and say those thing, you better check with your partner if they are alright with it. It’s not just the words, but it’s also the way you say it. You can say the same dirty words a million ways, and each will have its own significance. Some people say those things as a way to congratulate their partner on their eagerness and bedroom abilities; whilst others will just say it because they have a chip against the other gender. We prefer the former rather than the latter, and we think you should always stand up for yourself and not take any shit from people if they are being dicks to you. The bottom line is that name calling isn’t for everybody; but you shouldn’t totally exclude it from your bedroom dynamics. For example, name calling works very well when you are role playing; and in that case you know that even if the words get intense, it’s all part of a bigger play. Know when it’s okay It’s true that you can’t call someone naughty names straight of the batt when you only just met them, but again some people might not see it that way. When you go online sex dating using sites like: thesexchatsite.com/naughty-chat; you might think that everyone is up for a dirty chat; and you’re probably not wrong! But you should always take the time to introduce yourself respectfully and you should stay polite and accommodating. This will show your potential partners that you have good intentions and that you are considerate towards their feelings. As you get to know people online, you can then chat with each other and you can them decide to rise up the temperature with some naughty words and dirty ideas. Basically it comes down to this: dirty talk can sound rude but it can still take place without being negative; it’s just a matter of setting the scene and treading carefully and respectfully. The more you practice it, the better you will become at saying the right things at the right time; so get on with it slowly but surely and you be the best bedroom talker that you can be! Written by by Ashley Rosemont